messy family pictures included

It was going to be in front of a beautiful old barn. Reds, tans, denim…true Wisconsin style. To show how we had come to love where we live. The best family picture ever…

But alas…no picture was ever taken. No photo shoot as we ran through golden fields of wheat or playfully swung from tree swings.

As I went through the pictures we did have, they all seemed to come up short. Yet I was continuously drawn to one. The most imperfect one of all! This picture would never have even been considered in years before. Oh no no no! Just look at us-Jacob and Kate are covered in paint, we are not matching, our hair is crazy weird, and our backdrop is a paint tarp, a metal chair and a worn out little school. There is no barn. No sun setting in the background. And I certainly wouldn’t have wanted this to go public!

But I was drawn again and again to our little imperfect family covered in paint and sweat and smiles. Life, I am learning, can be messy and complicated and imperfect. If you had asked me 15 years ago what my family would look like and where we’d be – I would have shared visions of perfectly coiffed children, clothes without holes, wrinkles or stains. Healthy family dinners where everyone sits at the table and speaks pleasantly to each other. No rushing and huffing and temper tantrums. But life had other plans.

I sometimes get depressed and feel utterly defeated when life doesn’t turn out as planned. That I have failed – had I only read more parenting books, if only I had played more classical music…if only I had fed them organic food since birth…But really I am beginning to see that imperfection is part of the package and it’s not going away – it is part of the process – it is real and it is who we are– the good, the bad and the ugly.

If you look in this picture you will see a family filled with messy ponytails and bad hair days, pants that keep needing to be patched (Haley!), dinners where someone is usually crying (me or the girls) and another is running around and under the table (Jacob). I am late to most everything, it is a treat to have a hot breakfast, we have been known to eat our fair share of processed foods and my pajamas function as a second wardrobe.

But this picture also shows the same family with an oldest sister who takes time to run and play with her little brother almost every day. You can see a little blond girl who does magnificent cartwheels and a brunette whose tender heart gives me numerous hugs a day. There is also a little boy who prays everyday for friends who are sick and there on the left you might notice a boy and a girl who love each other deeply and spend most nights talking late into the night eating ice cream.

Our family today is not quite what I envisioned those many years ago, but I am not trying as hard to control or change it – but rather embrace it. This is who we are and it is good and beautiful and perfectly imperfect. I am reminded of the many who flock to see the Mona Lisa and her “imperfect” smile. And the Leaning Tower of Pisa would lose most of its appeal if it no longer leaned. Most especially, I think back to that Holy night so long ago when a baby was born and laid in a manger…no crib for his bed.

And so our story continues – a day at a time, trying to see the good and improve upon the bad and embrace and enjoy the quirkiness and craziness of it all – messy family pictures included.

I still want the picture in front of the barn – perhaps we’ll try again next year…

wishing you much love- the williams