the great unexpected

It was going to be in front of a beautiful old barn. Reds, tans, denim…true Wisconsin style. To show how we had come to love where we live. The best family picture ever…

But alas…no picture was ever taken. No photo shoot as we ran through golden fields of wheat or playfully swung from tree swings.

As I went through the pictures we did have, they all seemed to come up short. Yet I was continuously drawn to one. The most imperfect one of all! This picture would never have even been considered in years before. Oh no no no! Just look at us-Jacob and Kate are covered in paint, we are not matching, our hair is crazy weird, and our backdrop is a paint tarp, a metal chair and a worn out little school. There is no barn. No sun setting in the background. And I certainly wouldn’t have wanted this to go public!

But I was drawn again and again to our little imperfect family covered in paint and sweat and smiles. Life, I am learning, can be messy and complicated and imperfect. If you had asked me 15 years ago what my family would look like and where we’d be – I would have shared visions of perfectly coiffed children, clothes without holes, wrinkles or stains. Healthy family dinners where everyone sits at the table and speaks pleasantly to each other. No rushing and huffing and temper tantrums. But life had other plans.

I sometimes get depressed and feel utterly defeated when life doesn’t turn out as planned. That I have failed – had I only read more parenting books, if only I had played more classical music…if only I had fed them organic food since birth…But really I am beginning to see that imperfection is part of the package and it’s not going away – it is part of the process – it is real and it is who we are– the good, the bad and the ugly.

If you look in this picture you will see a family filled with messy ponytails and bad hair days, pants that keep needing to be patched (Haley!), dinners where someone is usually crying (me or the girls) and another is running around and under the table (Jacob). I am late to most everything, it is a treat to have a hot breakfast, we have been known to eat our fair share of processed foods and my pajamas function as a second wardrobe.

But this picture also shows the same family with an oldest sister who takes time to run and play with her little brother almost every day. You can see a little blond girl who does magnificent cartwheels and a brunette whose tender heart gives me numerous hugs a day. There is also a little boy who prays everyday for friends who are sick and there on the left you might notice a boy and a girl who love each other deeply and spend most nights talking late into the night eating ice cream.

Our family today is not quite what I envisioned those many years ago, but I am not trying as hard to control or change it – but rather embrace it. This is who we are and it is good and beautiful and perfectly imperfect. I am reminded of the many who flock to see the Mona Lisa and her “imperfect” smile. And the Leaning Tower of Pisa would lose most of its appeal if it no longer leaned. Most especially, I think back to that Holy night so long ago when a baby was born and laid in a manger…no crib for his bed.

And so our story continues – a day at a time, trying to see the good and improve upon the bad and embrace and enjoy the quirkiness and craziness of it all – messy family pictures included.

I still want the picture in front of the barn – perhaps we’ll try again next year…

wishing you much love- the williams

Mike’s grandpa was one of the kindest people I have known. He had a warm smile and a jolly laugh that always made me feel at home. His insights were profound and Mike and I would often seek his counsel, particularly as newly marrieds. He shared many gems of wisdom with us, but there is one in particular that has never left me. And he shared it often. He would quote, “We spent all our lives to get there, and when we got there, there was no there there.” To be perfectly honest, I was a bit confused. Only now am I beginning to understand the wisdom of what he was trying to share.

When Mike and I first got married, we said, “When we graduate from college, then life will be better.” Later that changed to, “When medical school and residency are done, life will be easier.” Along the way, we added a few more, “When potty training is done…when we buy a house…when we have a bigger car…when I’ve lost the baby weight…when the tantrums end…when Hannah can babysit…when the yard is done…when the snow melts…then life will be better/simpler/easier.” So we worked hard to get to “there”. We finished schooling, got the kids out of diapers, found a job and bought a house. And while all of these were indeed worthy accomplishments and significant milestones, we never actually arrived “there.”

The thing is, there is no “there.” It’s a mirage – sand and dust – an illusion. It doesn’t exist. There is really only “here”. Now. Present. And that perhaps is the greatest gift I have received this year. The realization that the moment I am in right now is what matters most. And it’s all I have. The past, though meaningful, sometimes joyful and sometimes painful, is only a memory and the future is still yet to come. But the gift of the present moment is rich with life and it calls to me: Be. Hear/Here. Now. It really is about the journey…

Many gifts will be unwrapped in the coming days and weeks. Some will be filled with chocolates, pajamas or jewelry. But if you look closely, there right in front of you is a gift waiting to be opened. It is a gift that has never been seen before and is truly one of a kind. The gift is Today. Unwrap it carefully. Savor it. Hold it close. And let the adventure begin.

This gift has a short shelf life, but don’t worry…there will be another one waiting for you tomorrow.

-love, the Williams

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Homemade Pesto Pizza

June 12, 2016

Servings: 6

Total: 20 min

Difficulty: Super Easy!

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A great alternative to your regular pizza.

By: Jodi

Ingredients

• For Crust
• 1 (12 inch) pre-baked pizza crust
• 1/2 cup pesto
• Toppings
• 1 ripe tomato, chopped
• 1/2 cup green bell pepper, chopped
• 1 (2 ounce) can chopped black olives, drained
• 1/2 small red onion, chopped
• 1 (4 ounce) can artichoke hearts, drained and sliced
• 1 cup crumbled feta cheese

Directions

• Step 1 Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C)
• Step 2 Spread pesto on pizza crust
• Step 3 Top with tomatoes, bell peppers, olives, red onions, artichoke hearts and feta cheese.
• Step 4 Bake for 8 to 10 minutes, or cheese is melted and browned
• Step 5 Source: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/21528/pesto-pizza/